Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
