She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
