Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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