how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
