As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
