This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
