I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
