wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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