take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
