its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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