I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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