it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
