I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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