did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
