she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
