wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
