pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
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