so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
