I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
