I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
