apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
