My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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