you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
