The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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