She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
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