I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
The adults are the big ones right?
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