There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
