oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
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