I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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