She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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