i just wanna soil my oats bro
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
