I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
