All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
