You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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