I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
