The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
