Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
