I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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