so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
