boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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