Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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