Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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