He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
