Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
