Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Come see our sink grown plant.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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