he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
