I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
