i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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