Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We just shotgunned beers for America
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
