Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
