Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
